You want me to do what?

Fear.  Nothing but good old fear.  Fear of changes in home life.  Fear of going to friends houses.  Fear of going anywhere, my mother's house. the mall, the movies, Chadwick, everywhere!  All these changes that will happen if I can ever get the nerve to do it.  Some how I will, I must, get the nerve to start the inevitable.  But oh, the fear of big change!  I'm not talking about changing my appearance.  Not getting a job or a dog, not even talking about having a child.  I already have one of those.  I'm talking about-

 POTTY TRAINING.

I  know nothing about training a child to use a  potty chair.  I can't even begin to fathom how to get a child to understand that she should sit on a chair to do what so easily can be done anywhere in a diaper?  Thus all the fear.

So I went to the library to get a book.  "Toilet training in less than a day".  Yeah right.  The title sounds so appealing, so easy, so ridiculous.  We will see.

Her Auntie let us have her son's old potty chair.  YUCK.  It's amazing what a little, scratch that, a lot of hot water and a bunch of Comet can do.  We went to the mall and bought some stickers.  Stickers of dogs, dinosaurs and Care Bears for her chair.  We sat in the bathroom and put stickers all over it.  Now she feels like it's her own and she really likes touching it and sitting on it fully clothed.  And that's all the further it went.

My first stab at potting training was at 20 months.   And it was a minor.
Nope be honest. 
Okay.
A total, flop.
Now I had overcome my initial fear and the child seemed somewhat interested.  We talked about how big girl friends wear nice pretty panties and not diapers.  That seemed to work.  She really enjoyed the soft comfy feeling of the training pants.  We took a little doll and potty trained it. (That was SO easy.  Dolls do exactly what you want them to.  If you have no children just get a doll everything is simpler.)  She enjoyed that and then I sat her on the potty.  She was successful the first time.  The next time she put herself on the big girls toilet and did her "little deed", I was beside myself.  My child is a genius.  Not at all like her mother.  I can't put into words exactly how happy I was. 

What happened next I can't put into words.  It started off slow then it gained speed and momentum and mass.  There is only one word in the English language to accurately describe it...diarrhea.  All over her, all over the chair, all over the floor.  You can imagine after cleaning up two days of these disgusting trails around the house why I put a hold on any further potty training and called the doctor and she said to look for a new tooth.  Darned if there wasn't a new tooth coming in my doctor is Brilliant.   The doctor told me to wait a few weeks and start again.  I started giving her Tylenol for the pain and the trials stopped.  The only thing I can figure is she was snacking alot to help the tooth come through and  wasn't being very efficient with her food.  Thus the lack of solidity in the excrement.  That's all I got to say about that.
9:00am.
"Sweetie get your backpack you'll be late for the bus!"
 "I'm ready Mom."
"Come on then let's get to the bus stop.  Did you grab more diapers for you backpack?"

I woke to this same dream several time.  Each time I'd rush to her room to make sure she was still only two.  I kept telling myself that no one in kindergarten wore diapers.
At least not yet.
Now stop that.
Yes. No one in school wore diapers.
But how about pull ups?

There I go again.  Sometimes the nights were so long. and the question seem to never stop but a 2 1/2 years the  potty training never ends.  Day's end, movies and even years end but this potty training goes on and on.

Four months later the fear has turned me into a whimpering coward.  Can I face up to my duty?  I know I was trained and so was everyone around me.  But I get so tired every time I think about it. Then the excuses start.  "We will only be home two days this week."  "Can't start on the weekend."  "Oh look Christmas, Birthdays. There's New Years."  "Gotta shop."  "Can't be home this week."  Finally a day to myself.  Can I do it?  Sure but boy I'm sure tired.

I put her  in the comfy "big girl potty training pants."  She really does notice the difference.  We decided as a treat, if she  potties in the potty chair, that we will put in her favourite movie, Hook.  Five minutes later I want to strangle her.  "NO!  Want diaper on!"  "Please Diaper!"   I put my hands over my ears.   "La la la la I can't hear you."  Screams and whimpers pierce through my resolve and I buckle.  I head down the hall to get a diaper.  When I return there's my little angle sitting on the potty. 

"Momma! Momma I potty train!"  I rush to her and we  hug and scream with delight.  She takes the chamber, with my help of course, to the big toilet and flushes all by herself.  I don't know who was more proud her or myself.

  Now she's in the mood to train!  She immediately sits back on the chair and points to the TV.
"Watch Jack!"  A deal is a deal.  She sat and watched two and a half hours of 'Hook' on that potty chair.
After I had to make her get up so I could massage some feeling back int her legs.  She never did anything on the chair during the movie.  But five minutes later while sitting on the bar stool in the kitchen she pottied her pants. 

What's a mother to do???